Kent, this is God

I did my house cleaning last night. It wasn't bad. When I moved in, J's house was in pretty good shape overall. He was in the middle of redoing the walls so it looked a little bit like a victim of the blitzkrieg, but that was no big deal. The one issue I have is with the kitchen floor. Apparently in the five years between the day the previous homeowners left and I moved in, J and his various housemates only cleaned the kitchen floor when, I don't know, comets passed overhead. And, people, a bi-annual scrubbing is just not going to cut it. I have spent hours trying to whip that floor into shape, and it never looks one bit cleaner. You know things are bad when you start off your mopping by saying "Listen, Floor, we don't have to like each other. We just have to get through this without one of us getting hurt. Don't make me bring out the hammer." I never have to talk to the bathtub like that.

J was sick last night, so I didn't sleep too well. He said his throat was really sore and swollen. You know what that means, right? Mumps! Noooo!