Ever read Oedipus Rex?

I have to go to the optometrist's office today after work to pick up my new contacts. This ought to be a hoot. Generally, trips to the eye doctor's anymore are lessons in pure pain and suffering. Every time I leave that joint, I'm squinting, teary-eyed and it feels like my corneas are on fire. I can't wait! I told J that we're going out to dinner afterwards to motivate me to actually go, but it's hard to enjoy your meal when you're bleeding out your eye sockets, that's all I'm saying. I just hope my optometrist doesn't get all political on me again. Last time, he was talking about Al Gore's electricity bill. But, still, that was an improvement over the last time I was there and he treated me to a lesson on the history of Afghanistan. Do other people have doctors like this? Why do I always seem to get the ones who won't give me pain pills but enjoy ripping off my eyelids? How does that happen?