Sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch

Lil J's best friend (the cute 9-year-old girl across the street) saw J bringing in the trash cans last night, and yelled over to him something along the lines of "Guess what? Somebody stole my bike and spray painted it black and my friend lives next door to them and saw it so the police went over there and they were growing marijuana in their backyard!" Man! You move all the way across town thinking you're getting away from this, and it turns out it's going on everywhere. Although, really, I have no way to verify this information, and for all I know, there's some dude in this house with a horrible glaucoma problem, but it all seemed so eerily familiar. If I see even one 1970's-era Cadillac parked on our street, we're moving again.