Bill O'Reilly is just plain racist

I woke up at precisely 4 a.m. this morning and could not fall back asleep. But the weird thing is that I don't even feel tired. It's like my body wanted to be two hours ahead today. Which means I'll probably fall asleep at 7:30 tonight. Super.

So J is starting to think I'm coming down with either pregnancy-dementia or epilepsy. I keep smelling something weird in our living room. Sometimes it smells like garlic to me, then it'll smell like burning plastic, then it'll smell like Chinese food. I can't figure out where it's coming from, but it's driving me nuts, and J says he doesn't smell anything. I even put it out there that perhaps Wubby had grabbed a pork chop and hidden it under the couch, so we checked under there, and nothing. I'm perplexed. But, apparently, smelling burning plastic happens sometimes to epileptics, so now J's concerned. This is why the internet is a dangerous thing. One minute you're browsing WebMd and the next, you're shoving a wallet into your wife's mouth.