Crayon in brain syndrome

Lil J caught his very first cold this weekend. He was coughing, sneezing and congested on Saturday and Sunday, but he's already getting better and acting more like his usual self. I just feel fortunate that he went this long without catching anything. I read somewhere that if a baby gets a fever in the first two weeks of life, they have to be hooked up to an IV, so I'm very glad we avoided that. We basically just vaporized the heck out of Lil J and that seemed to help. Whoa, I just reread that and it sounds like we shot him with a laser beam Star Trek-style. I mean, we used a Vicks vaporizer in the room with him all day. Sure, the paint's peeling and the cat's growing mold, but, frankly, my skin has never been softer.

I saw one of my favorite Simpsons last night. It's the one where Homer becomes a genius for a few days and starts to alienate all his friends with his obnoxious behavior. At one point, everybody's walking away from him and he yells "Where are you going? I'm your better! YOUR BET-TER!" For some reason, that always sends me into fits of convulsive laughter. Maybe because, deep down, I think I'm better than some people, too. There. I said it. I'm a jerk.