Pray for a miracle

We have a big decision to make when it comes to Lil J's hemangioma. He's currently on the second round of steroids, and yesterday our ENT said that he would not put him on any more after this because it would be just too dangerous. So if Lil J's hemangioma rebounds again (which is pretty likely considering it rebounded once already), we'll probably have to have the surgery performed to cut it out of his throat. And the ENT, in fact, said he'd prefer to do the surgery now, but he understood why we might want to wait and see what happens after this set of steroids. But here's what the surgery would entail: opening up his neck and throat and removing the hemangioma and probably needing to graft cartilage back into his neck, being on a breathing tube for 7 to 10 days afterward in the infant ICU and being sedated for that whole period so the wound can heal. And there's a risk he could catch pneumonia in there or have other complications. J is leaning more to getting the surgery over with, but I just can't bring myself to do that. I want to wait and see how the steroids go, although it sounds like I'm postponing the inevitable. It just sounds like such an awful ordeal for him to go through, especially since his breathing improves as he gets bigger. But, as J reminds me, if Lil J ever catches an upper respiratory infection that causes his throat to swell, he could stop breathing. What to do, what to do....