Yo, Ding Dong, man, Ding Dong. Ding Dong, yo.

I was really surprised to hear about Michael Jackson's death yesterday, although I can't say I'm really torn up about it. I don't want to make light of it and I know he was very important to a lot of people, but, let's be honest here, that dude was weird. And not in the cute way. I mean, seriously, can someone explain to me how an African-American man has three white kids? I think for a while there, his people were saying he was the biological father, but once you've seen pictures of those kids (who all look suspiciously like Kirk Cameron, by the way), that's pretty hard to believe. But I heard one commentator on the news this morning bring up the possibility that his cardiac arrest was caused by either drugs or anorexia. Huh. I wonder how many middle-aged men die of anorexia. Can't be a lot. But, as my friend from work was saying, not a lot of men were dragged into strip clubs at age 5 to perform in a band, so all bets were off when it came to MJ, I guess. What a strange person.

Darth Diaperpants

Just want to say one thing about Governor Sanford from SC: ewww. Why are politicians so gross and slimy? And Sanford, in particular, is apparently suffering from either a huge ego or severe stupidity, thinking he could run off to South America to see his girlfriend and nobody would notice. Moron.

But on to better things! I told you I'd post some of Lil J's recent portraits, so here goes. I think they turned out really well, and I'm completely blown over when I realize this little guy is not really a baby anymore.

Could you describe the ruckus?

One of our student workers just walked in and asked how the baby's doing, and I said "fine" because, as far as I know, things are just peachy in my uterus. Then he asked if I was feeling excited, and (maybe it's because I've been awake since 4 today and am feeling kind of cranks) I said "Well, yeah, but I have 9 more weeks, so I'm not a flurry of excitement yet." And he told me he was three months early and that "you never know." Bite your tongue, young man. While I would be happy with her arrival at any time, I'm not at all hoping she comes THIS early. Preemies are not exactly easy to take care of, from what I've heard. And, geez, I can remember being nervous the first 4 months Lil J was alive and couldn't hold his head up on his own yet. I can't imagine holding a 4-pound baby and not getting a head of gray hair. Gah. I don't need this kind of pressure from a 19-year-old! I need to put a sign on my chest that reads "Any comments about my baby or appearance should be filed with YOUR BUTT. Thank you." Is that too harsh?

For real, give it what you got

Do you ever get a stray hair stuck on the tip of your nose, and it starts to tickle until you move the hair away? I've got that exact tickle-y feeling at the end of my nose, but there's no hair there. In fact, it's felt like this since yesterday afternoon for no apparent reason. It's starting to drive me crazy. Is this some weird pregnancy-related problem? Because What To Expect When You're Expecting never covered phantom nose hair tickles. Jerks. This reminds me of how I get when I go out on a windy day and a chunk of my hair gets blown to the other side of my part, and it drives me crazy until I can flop it back to where it belongs. Maybe I have a really sensitive head. I don't know. It's entirely possible I just need to find more engaging hobbies.

Poor Preshose

My Mom emailed last night and told me that her 17-year-old cat died on Monday. Awww. Now, technically, her cat's name was Portia, but because my younger sister and I have never met a name we didn't mutilate into some bizarre nickname, we called her De Preshose. And it's too bad I can't record sound on here, because there's a very particular way you pronounce that. In fact, we knew my older sister's husband was a keeper when he finally came around to saying "Preshose" the correct way. But Preshose was one of those cats that had a lot of...personality. She was...edgy. Frankly, I don't think she ever really liked me, but she and Mom got along, so that's what was important. And I'm pretty sure she viewed the world as a place full of danger, fright and moral depravity. Thus, she never ran away because she knew she had it pretty good where she was. So, in that way, she was pretty smart. Here's a picture:


Mom said that Preshose passed away quietly without any pain or drama. And I like to think she died happily...knowing I was almost a hundred miles away. Heh.

When you're bent over moaning and wailing, you lick your palms

My older sister, who has been a total lifesaver when it comes to giving us stuff for Lil J and the impending baby, gave me a bunch of maternity clothes a while back. Yesterday, I was wearing one of her shirts, this white tee with a faux logo on the front that says something like "City Gym Authentic." And, as I was telling J when he saw me wearing it, I can only assume the designer of that shirt was trying to be funny. Because, folks, I am anything but the picture of athleticism at the moment. Lil J keeps wanting to go on these long walks through the neighborhood lately (since the weather's been so nice), and by the end of the day yesterday, everything south of my equator was aching. Intellectually, I know the exercise is good for me, but I'm still amazed by how much it physically hurts to walk. And, I swear, after our longest hike of the day, it totally felt like the baby had dropped. Ugh. I cannot wait until it starts to get really hot and I'm the size of Mt. Fuji. It's gonna be fantastic.

On the telephone?

Most of the library staff is heading up to Toledo in August for a conference that they do every year, and my boss asked if I was going to join them or not. I pondered that for a while, and even though I would like to look as professional as possible and learn new things about my job, the thought that I'd be two hours away by car and go into labor two weeks early is enough to make me stay here. But it was amusing because I was really going back and forth about it, but when I asked J what he thought this morning, his response was "Absolutely not." As if Toledo has suddenly become some Mad Max-type desert wasteland populated by savage mutants driving dune buggies and shooting rifles up in the air. Although, can I just say that my favorite part of Weird Science is when the savage Mad Max-type mutants are leaving Wyatt's house at the end and the one says "Can we keep this to ourselves? I'd hate to lose my teaching position." Ha! Excellent movie.

Where is my super suit?

Oh man, I am wiped out this morning. Been up since 1:45. And here's the sad part: I kept almost falling back to sleep then something else would wake me up, so I'm both tired AND feeling like the universe is conspiring against me. I miss Nyquil. I really, really do.

But here's some good news: I got my test results back and I do not have gestational diabetes. Whoo! Bring on the lemon meringue pie! My iron is a little bit low, however, so I'm taking iron pills every day. But I totally saw that coming. Not only was my iron low when I was pregnant with Lil J, but I have developed a really strong aversion to meat this time around, so it's not surprising. Seriously, never in my life have I turned down a hamburger until now. And don't get me started on pork chops. Blech.

Cigar and a pancake?

I'm excited because this weekend, J and I are actually planning on going out alone together! I know, shocking! We seriously have not been out on a date since Lil J was born 18 months ago. Now, I know a lot of people find that weird, but let me just explain that when you spend the first year of your first child's life shuttling him to various hospitals and doctor's appointments and you have specialists telling you that if he catches a cold, it could cut off his breathing, the last thing you want to do is leave the house for a couple hours to catch the latest Shia Lebeouf masterpiece. You just feel like a heel. Heck, I've only gotten two haircuts in the last 18 months, too. Wow, that really is kind of sad, isn't it? ANYWAY, so we're finally getting my Mom to come over and babysit Lil J for a few hours this weekend so we can get something to eat and see a movie (if everything works out ok, that is). So now we have to decide on where to eat and which movie to see. I'm thinking steak and Star Trek. Word. Up.

You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs

I just had all my labs done this morning (glucose, iron level and the shot I have to take because I'm Rh negative). I won't go into details, but, man, my hiney hurts. I'm very curious to hear how the glucose and iron tests come out because I've been really tired lately (low iron?), and if I have to cut carbs out of my diet, I might kill somebody. Yesterday, I almost kicked the tar out of Lil J's new booster seat because I kept hitting it with the stroller. I seriously lost it on that thing. Lil J was looking at me like I was completely crazy. But, with the aplomb of the young, he just got back to collecting letters to put in his cup holder and forgot about it in 5 seconds. He's very good at letting things roll off his back...unless we're talking about me not giving him his bubbles. Then he gets REALLY upset.

I want something lemon-y. Like a slice of lemon pie with a glass of lemonade. Mmm.