I don't think I can kill my mum and girlfriend all in one day

Arisa was just talking to me about having seafood, and now I'm feeling like if I don't get a cheddar biscuit from Red Lobster within the next 48 hours, I'm going to start a forest fire in a fit of rage. And I don't want to do that. I'd feel very bad if my actions hurt any wildlife. Even though I'm pretty sure your average raccoon would do nothing to save my life if we were both trapped in a burning building, I still don't want that on my conscience.

Ooh, so I was reading on ew.com yesterday that some dude wrote a book about zombies inhabiting the world of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. How awesome is that?? Two of my favorite things (early 19th century novels of manners and the undead) combined into one novel. Most excellent. I wonder if this will start a whole new genre of fiction. Man, reading Billy Budd in high school would have been so much more fun if he'd been fighting off zombies, too. Just think.

The Pork Chop Express

The local radio stations were actually playing good music on the way to work this morning. I got to hear David Bowie, Sting and Def Leppard. Nice. I feel like such a fossil when it comes to music. Everything I like is at least 20 years old. Ah well. I guess I sympathize better with my Mom now. She hated Bon Jovi in the 80's. And, to her credit, they really had some crappy songs. Oh, listen to this--I was talking to one of my students on Tuesday about the movie Summer School, and one of my other students told me that he hates all movies from the 80's. All of them. Can you imagine? A life without Ferris Bueller and Jack Burton? Sad.

Speaking of my students, I graded their first test yesterday. It was really, really bad. They did so poorly that I had to curve it on top of the extra credit question that was already on there. Either I really suck at teaching this class or they don't study at all.

She's your queen to be

On Monday, I took Lil J to a nearby mall play area so he could burn off some energy. I know, I know, it's totally asking for trouble, but my thinking there was that a) it was a Monday morning and therefore wouldn't be as busy as a weekend and b) this was a very ritzy mall north of town and those kids have the kind of moms that don't give them candy or pop, so they must be pretty well-behaved, right? And it actually turned out fine. Lil J had fun. Well, until he got tired and started crying on the escalator, but he did well for the first hour and a half. It kind of made me miss shopping though. I can't remember the last time I just wandered around a mall coveting sequins instead of racing through, grabbing the first thing I see and winding up with a very weird ensemble of argyle sweater and men's track pants. I'm all about fashion these days, people.


The theme at this play area was "jungle," but it looks to me like he's climbing a bunch of rancid bananas instead of a tree house. You tell me.

Nobody gets madder at the news than you, Dad

I just got back from an appointment with the ENT. Lil J has been off the Propranolol for a month, and his breathing is still sounding fine, so it was a great appointment all-around. Well, except for when Lil J freaked out having his nose and ears checked. That kid hits notes that only whales can hear, I swear. But, I gotta tell you, it is such a relief to not have him on medication and he's still doing ok. I just reread my post from September 20, 2008 where an anonymous commentor suggested Propranolol, and I wish that I could find him or her and personally thank them for that. But I don't know if I could even find words to express my gratitude. It makes me think of how just a kind little comment from a stranger can turn your world around. Good thing to remember.

I gotta go eat some salt and vinegar potato chips, or I'm gonna yak.

Welcome to Thunderdome

On Saturday, Lil J and I drove (well, technically, I did most of the driving) to see my Mom, sisters and nephews. We went to Cici's Pizza and then a mall, where Lil J had his first taste of the mosh pit that is the mall play area. But he had a great time. He was running around like a champ, afraid of nothing. There was this one little boy in there that kept pushing him over, and I finally looked that kid dead in the eye and said "STOP pushing him" in my best Clint Eastwood voice. I am not above scaring the daylights out of somebody else's kid, people. I suspect that little hooligan's mom was probably over at Chick-fil-a scarfing down waffles fries. Hmph. Anyway, that's him in the orange striped shirt. I could not for the life of me get a picture of him facing me because he was always running to do something else. We are going to be spending a lot of time in malls this summer, methinks.

I'm in a glass cage of emotion!

I need someone to volunteer to call me on the afternoons that I'm home and make sure I don't watch reruns of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I made the mistake of watching that Monday afternoon and bawled like somebody kicked my puppy off a bridge. But, man, does that show pull on the heartstrings or what? This one was about a family that provides horseriding therapy to the disabled, and then the father/husband died unexpectedly on the couch at night, and the mom still hadn't hung up his work shirt from the last place he left it, and then they showed shots of these disabled children smiling while they rode the horses...sniff. I hate that show for making me feel.

And please don't tell children's services, but I'm afraid for Lil J. That kid has had two busted lips and a contusion on his forehead in the last few days. He tripped and landed on a big Lego block (busted lip #1), rammed his head into a rocking horse (busted lip #2) and then accidentally took a header into the bathtub faucet last night (contusion). I feel like such a horrible parent. And then I think about how many near misses he has and feel even worse. He's going to develop better balance soon, right?

Have a Hot Pocket. They're breathtaking

I had this whole blog post thought out in my head this morning, and then I threw up twice, and now I can think of nothing but the waves of nausea hitting my poor, abused stomach. I will say this though--I'm still hoping J buys me some chocolates for Valentine's Day. Even if I can't eat them, I still think I'd enjoy staring at them and smelling them for a couple days. Heh, that reminds me of a story about my Dad. After he'd had his surgery and radiation for throat cancer, he had a feeding tube put in his stomach because the doctors knew that if he tried to eat by mouth, he'd probably never get anything down. So for a year there, he'd walk by the dinner table and ask to smell our plates. And it actually seemed to make him happy. He'd also pour a couple cups of coffee down his tube every morning. That always cracked me up--you know you are a coffee junkie when you pour it directly into your stomach. He took that feeding tube business like a champ. Went through that for a whole year, and I've had morning sickness for 7 weeks and feel like running head-on into a granite wall. I apparently got the recessive "wuss" gene.

Bombardment!

Oooh, I am so, so excited. Why? Because it looks like they're building a Sonic in front of the Giant Eagle where I shop. It's only about 5 minutes from our house. Whee! And, at the rate they're going, this Sonic might be done by summer. This is about the BEST NEWS EVER. Cause I'm pretty sure I'm going to be extremely cranky this summer, and one thing that always improves my mood is a lemon-berry slush from Sonic. Mmmm. I'm salivating just thinking about it. Plus, I've been a lot more lenient this time around with the things I'm allowing myself to eat. I know I should microwave deli meats before I eat them, but do I still go out and eat a club sandwich in a restaurant every once in a while? So will I most likely give in and eat a cheese coney from Sonic before I should? I think you'd be safe betting with me on that one. This is just so awesome. I'm so glad we moved.

Let's party like we're on the forest moon of Endor

My friend at work was just in here talking about her sick children and how one of them was throwing up mucus a couple days ago. I think I can safely say I'm about to lose whatever is left of those Cheerios I choked down this morning. Ughhhhhh.

I have concluded once again that I am not one of those super moms who's really tuned in to her kids. Last night, Lil J was sitting in his high chair trying to talk to me and I had no clue what he wanted. Finally, I figured out that his increasingly agitated utterings of "go go go bah bah bah" meant "I want to dip this tiny piece of a Baked Lays potato chip in your lemonade" but, honestly, how was I supposed to know that? I mean, who wants to dip potato chips in lemonade? But we all know one of those moms that would claim she knew exactly what he meant. Those chicks give the rest of us a bad name.

Who's the stiff?

I just did one of those cliched pregnancy things and made J go all the way across campus in this cold, icy weather to get me a root beer from the cafeteria because I woke up this morning with a feverish, burning desire for Mug. I cannot explain it, but I had to have it. And to heck with the idea of me getting it myself. Screw that.

I had an interesting class last night. We were talking about the development of department stores in the mid-19th century, so I got off on a tangent about capitalism and how advertising is about creating a need in consumers. I mentioned how I always think about this when I see an infomercial and they're telling me I can't possibly survive without a ShamWow!, Snuggie or the latest vegetable chopper that will mostly likely remove one of my thumbs. Yeah, you know what? I've actually survived just fine these past 34 years without any of those, and I've never had a Magic Clasp either. But, I'll tell you something, a lot of my students seem pretty enamored of those Snuggies. Apparently, dorm rooms really are cold and drafty. Who knew?

Good news is it's not octuplets

I've got some news to share, people: I'm pregnant again! I'm currently 11 weeks along and haven't really told anyone besides our moms because, when I went in 4 weeks ago to see my OB for the first time since I took the test, she basically said to me "Be very selective who you tell because, at your age, you can't count on anything." So I'm old. Which is nice to know. Although, technically, with this due date, I'm getting this one in before I turn 35. But, just so you know, it was definitely something of a surprise. Back when this apparently happened, I was still nursing Lil J somewhat frequently, so when all those books told me I could get pregnant while nursing, I should have paid more attention. Probably would have gotten a clue much earlier as to what was going on. As it was, I just thought I was getting sick. "I thought I had mono this summer, and it turned out I was just really bored."

Anyway, check out the ultrasound picture from yesterday:


See that due date? That means all my maternity clothes and baby clothes will be the wrong season. Time to go shopping.

Have fun storming the castle!

I'm happy to report that Lil J is now saying "ma ma" and actually seems to be referring to me! Success! We've also begun to have lengthy discussions where we yell "gah!" back and forth at each other and wave our arms wildly. I don't think we're accomplishing much in terms of his development, but it's fun anyway. I just wish I could figure out a way to get him to eat more healthy food. He's very fond of pasta, cheese, yogurt, ice cream and pretzels, but all he does with his peas anymore is individually squash them then hurtle them off his tray. "I am done with you, pea! Be gone!" I guess it's good he at least likes fruit. Digs the applesauce, that kid.

I still haven't gotten to see the very end of Sunday's Office because our DVR cut off at 10:30. But that scene with Dwight and the CPR dummy was classic. I always like the episodes that showcase Dwight's creepiness. And Mose. Mose is weird.