Dottie, there are things about me you wouldn't understand...

"things you couldn't understand...things you SHOULDN'T understand."

I hope everyone had a great Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukah...I just realized I don't know how to spell "Hanukah." Note to self. Anyway, things have been fun here. We got to see a lot of family on Christmas Eve and Christmas, and Lil J has received a plethora of light-up, noise-making toys that he can push around the house. I'm telling you, he's ruthless with that talking Elmo. He swats him in the head about a dozen times before I start to feel sorry for the doll and try to distract Lil J with something else. But mostly I'm looking forward to having a few more days off before I have to go back to work. I'm catching up on a lot of good reruns of The Amazing Race on some random channel on our dish network. Oooh, and I've been watching a lot of movies on the Independent Film Channel lately, too. Those Japanese make some weird movies. We also watched The Pianist the other day. Good film. Not exactly festive but not everything in December can be about candy, candy canes, candy corn and syrup.

We don't need a map to get this show on the road

Just when I thought Lil J's sleep patterns were evening out and getting to a more normal, 1-year-old level, he threw me off last night by waking up three times. He didn't seem to want to sleep at all. I really hope he's not coming down with something. We've got an appointment at the ENT's this afternoon. I'm hoping he says we can taper Lil J off the beta-blocker. That would be wonderful. As great as this drug has been for him, it would be so nice to not have to give him medicine every day anymore. We gave him his afternoon dose during his birthday party on Saturday, and several people were impressed by how well he takes it. And while it is nice that he just opens his mouth and doesn't fight, it's kind of sad because I know that means he's taken so many drugs so often in his short life that he's gotten that used to it. Hopefully, the only thing we'll have to give him for the next few years are Flintstone vitamins. Aww yeah. Those are tasty.

Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet

Here are a couple recent pictures of Lil J. Some feature cake and some feature him making his Bill-Murray-from-Caddyshack face that cracks me up. "So I have that going for me...which is nice."

"Let her go." "That was a poor choice of words."

I think Lil J had a good time at his first birthday party on Saturday. A lot of people came over to help us celebrate, and he got lots of new, fun toys to play with. And thank goodness for that. Because I'd run out of ways to make a yellow plastic ball interesting. I still can't believe he's a toddler now. He's walking around (although he generally maxes out after about 8 steps) and talking. He says "hi, Dad," "hi, Kitty" and "hot" very well. He refuses to say "mom" though. I'm not going to push it, however. He'll say it when he's ready. And then I imagine he'll say it over and over to the point where I want to smash my head against a wall. Because that's what I did to my Mom when I was a kid. It's the circle of life. Anyway, I'll get some pictures posted on here soon of him eating his cake. That kid can grip some frosting, that's all I'm saying.

Oh, and I've gotten to see most of The Dark Knight on DVD. What a good movie. You can't even tell that's Heath Ledger under that makeup. Amazing. But what really got my attention: Bruce Wayne calling Alfred "droll." Nobody uses the word "droll" anymore. Shame, that.

I have to push the pram a lot

Oooh, I just read that Jon Hamm (the dude from Mad Men) is going to play Liz Lemon's love interest on 30 Rock soon. Sweet. He's awesome. That show, Mad Men, is excruciating to watch sometimes because the characters are such jerks, but I love the acting, the writing and the sets. I've been getting ready to teach this History of Design class in the spring, so all those chairs and outfits from the 60's are cool to see. And, as always when I watch a period piece, it makes me extremely grateful that I haven't lived in a time when women had to do their hair every day, wear skirts and otherwise look good. There's just no way I can achieve that. People, I take "low maintenance" to a new extreme. Wait, what was I talking about? Ahh yes, 30 Rock. Love that show. Looking forward to the future. Yes, yes.

Wubby smells, Wubby smells, it's Wubbiss time in the city

Ok, I'll just go ahead and admit that I'm feeling cranky this morning. And for once it's not because I'm sleep-deprived. No, I'm just getting tired of people telling me how to raise my son. Is this a common thing that mothers get constantly chided for just about everything they do regarding their kids? Or is it just me? Because last time I looked, I had not left Lil J in a room with a box of scissors or let him play on a curb while I ran inside and bleached my hair. As far as I can recall, I haven't fed him acid, sold him to pirates or let him use a bench saw as a jungle gym. So I would really appreciate it if people would GET OFF MY BACK. Ugh.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Ms. Chanandler Bong

I can't believe it's already December 10th. The days in December are in double digits, and I haven't started Christmas shopping or figuring out what to get Lil J for his birthday, which is in 5 days. Ugh. I have got to pull it together here soon. Check this out--this past Sunday, I was supposed to come into the library and work a couple hours while high school students were touring the campus, and I completely forgot about it. Absolutely slipped my mind until 9:00 on Sunday night, when I realized what I'd done and got that feeling like my stomach just plummeted into my slippers. I can't believe I did that. But it's true--my brain just isn't what it used to be. I'm going to have to start using a PDA or leave myself notes on my cell phone or something. Otherwise, I might forget somebody's birthday, our anniversary, or, worse still, the premiere of Lost in January. Gasp! But in cute baby news, Lil J has started walking. He takes a good 7 or 8 steps between people now. It's adorable. He raises up both his arms and squeals the whole time he's walking. I wish I still got that thrilled with walking. These days, I'm just happy when I stand up and both my knees don't crack. I so old.

Walking in a Wubby wonderland

All I can say is that I hope this bodes well for Lil J's future success in the sciences. Sure, I took physics, chemistry and human anatomy in high school, but I just slid by in those classes. It was like economics in college: I managed to do ok on tests because I have a fairly good memory, but I never understood a single underlying concept of any of it. I believe I have done better in the humanities because the basic idea there is: people do some crazy %*@&. Got it. Done and done. But I really, in all honestly, just want Lil J to find something in life that he loves doing and can make a living at....while winning a Nobel Prize, saving the whales and providing meals to the homeless. I don't think that's too much to expect, is it?

"Christmas Shoes": worst Christmas song ever

Looks like I caught Lil J's cold. He's been congested and coughing since Monday, and last night I started to feel thick in the head with a sore throat. It's not that bad though. As long as I'm not achy, I can handle sickness. I just hate getting the achy joints. It's like being nauseous--a totally miserable experience, in my opinion. But, really, getting sick was not a surprise. I know this might gross some people out, but I read about these moms who are totally germophobic and I think to myself "Huh. I wonder what that's like." I don't worry about that at all. I share spoons with Lil J, I eat food he's dropped on the floor, and I rarely make him wash his hands unless he does something really gross like reach in the Wubby's litter box. I'm just too lazy to be really clean. I'm organized, yes, but not clean really. I still remember a woman telling me how she cleaned the outside of her toilet once a week and I was like "Wow. I think I last did that in 1997." Gross, I know, but I like to think that my immune system is going to be optimally prepared if we have another bubonic plague outbreak.

"Does syrup have sugar in it?" "Yes" "Then YES!"

We're in our new house! Hot buttered rum! It's really nice. There are, of course, boxes and junk lying everywhere, but we got the important things unpacked and put away, so that's good enough for now. We were extremely lucky that so many of J's family members and my Mom came over on Friday and helped us move. They were awesome. And it's just so nice in this neighborhood. It's so quiet and spacious. Haven't seen a single hooker either. Not one. Amazing. It's just so strange to live somewhere that seems so peaceful and hopeful. There's not that overriding interest in getting money out of the government or finding ways to steal somebody else's stuff. I grew up in the suburbs, but my three and a half years on the west side made me forget all that good stuff about it. And the mall...oh, how I missed the malls. I swear, even the squirrels in our new neighborhood seem fatter and happier. One of them actually smiled and waved at me from the fence in our backyard.