The South Pacific calls YOU!

Are you ever awake in the middle of the night, see lights flashing out of the corner of your eye and wonder if you're having a stroke only to feel like an idiot a minute later when the thunder starts? That might just be me. I tell you what, Lil J had a very restless night, so I'm feeling a trifle foggy in the head today. I think I was up every hour from 1:30 to 4:30, at which point I was just awake and couldn't fall back to sleep. I remember having a dream where I had some really nice hair though, so that was kind of cool. In my dreams, I am often a delightful shade of blonde and my hair has body and bounce. I also have a lot more shopping money in my dreams, too. Wow, that's a really American dream, isn't it? I wonder if women in Sweden dream about being blonde and shopping in malls. Probably not. They have bigger fish to fry. Like herring.

I am so tired.

You have a big nose, Charlie!

So yesterday in my blog post, I made an offhand comment about people falling down wells, and then this morning I saw on the Today show that girls in India and China just fell down wells this week and were brought out alive, much to the relief of all involved. Is it possible that I'm psychic and I don't realize it? Cause a couple weeks ago I also titled one of my posts with a line from Ghost and then the next day I found out that Patrick Swayze had cancer. Freak-ay. Maybe my blog is the clairvoyant one. That would be something, wouldn't it? One day I'm going to write about muffins falling from the sky to see if it actually happens. That would rule!

Lil J didn't nap for his grandma at all yesterday (that poor woman), so he slept for two and a half hours yesterday evening. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I just sat on the couch watching him sleep because I seriously couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of just going and doing something that didn't involve him. So weird. It reminds me of that French proverb: "To the world, you are one person. But to one person, you are the world." Mmm hmm. Only smart thing the French have ever said. Zing!

Could this BE any more stream-of-consciousness?

My friend, Hannah (she sometimes comments on the blog), had her baby yesterday! A little girl, and she's just adorable. I'd gotten a text from Hannah at 9:30 in the morning saying she was at the hospital, but then I didn't hear anything about the results until this morning, at which point I was chewing my fingers off and tearing out my hair worrying that something went wrong. Why can't I just relax and trust that things went well? Why do I always start envisioning people falling down wells when I know for a fact that they're safe and sound in a hospital? The anxiety center in my brain must be about twice the normal size...along with the Skittles center and the disco-loving neurons. Interestingly enough, I believe my liver is only half the normal size because I've never had a high alcohol tolerance. Did I ever tell you guys about the time I drank 4 beers in college (I was 21, let me assure you) and woke up on my dorm room bed with projectile vomit all over the wall? Charming, I know. Wait, where was I going with this? Right, babies. Congratulations, Hannah! I'll stop talking about puke now...except, just let me say that my work shirt is covered in spit-up this morning because Lil J let me have it right before we left. The kid's got moxie.

Gummy Jim

We go to a pediatrician's office that has four different doctors, and Lil J has been seen by all four of them at different times, but I still figured that out of all the pediatricians in the city, it would not be one of those four when the news last night declared that a "local pediatrician has been arrested." I was wrong. Yep, turns out the doctor who helped Lil J get through his jaundice right after he was born was arrested for allegedly groping the mother of a patient while she was in the office. Fantastic. And this man has never had any other trouble with the law or medical licensing board, but it actually didn't completely surprise me because both J and I got a bit of a skeezy vibe from him when we met him. He seemed just a little too interested in asking me about breastfeeding. Ewwww! But aside from the overall sense of ick I have now, I'm wondering if the whole practice is doomed. That would stink because I like all the other doctors and nurses there, and I really don't want to have to find a new pediatrician. Why are people so gross? That's what I want to know. I blame Hugh Hefner. Freakin' Girls Next Door. I hate that show.

Always bet on black

I feel like such a jerk, but I was watching the women's world figure skating championship yesterday and this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Kf5FH__TbQ) just cracked me up. You don't have to watch the whole thing--just get to one minute in. And she really seemed like a nice girl. My ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others makes me disappointed in myself.

I'm sailing!

Lil J rolled over from his stomach to his back again last night, and I'm still getting disproportionately excited about it. It's just so neat to see him doing new things. Man, the day he takes his first step, I'll probably go into convulsions.

I thought last night's Lost was interesting although not jaw-dropping. It was good to find out where Michael and Walt had been all this time, but I still wish we knew how they got rescued. But I can totally see why Michael's so stressed out--his girlfriend kept him from his son for years, then the Others kidnapped Walt, blackmailed Michael, basically forced him to betray his friends, and now he can't even kill himself. That poor guy has had a rough year. It almost got comical there the way nothing was going right for him. I believe if that was me, I'd just hole up in a Taco Bell and chilito myself to death. I just can't believe we have to wait until April 24th for a new episode. Sweet cracker sandwich.

Mister Misterton

Lil J and I fell asleep on the couch pretty early last night, and then he slept until almost 6 this morning, so I feel like a farmer who goes to sleep at sundown and gets up at sunrise. Aside from the hard work, the outdoorsiness and the overalls, I think I'd make a pretty good farmer. After all, I like food a lot and I think I'd appreciate the lack of noisy neighbors. Oh, J told me that last night, the neighborhood kids were getting into a number of fights on the street. Apparently, the racial slurs and fists were just flying. Lovely. And these kids are only about 12 or 14 years old, so they're not even big enough to do real damage. YET. This is why we have to move. Cause once they're old enough for gun permits, things are going to go downhill fast.

Matt Damon!

Good grief, I think I just gave myself a hernia. I was moving some furniture around the ol' office and apparently put all the weight on my lower back. This is what I get for always jokingly telling people who are doing heavy lifting for me to "lift with your back, not your legs!". Karma. This is going to be interesting, having the furniture in a different arrangement. The previous library director retired, so we're allowed to get rid of some stuff now and make changes to our offices if we want to. My grand plan is to move a couple cabinets, paint the walls purple and install a shark tank. And I'm going to name my shark Pancake. Just cause.

At 3 o'clock this morning, Lil J woke up for a feeding. But instead of doing the assorted grunts and low cries he usually does, he jarred me awake with one big "MEH!" Scared the bejeezus out of me. Of course, it's possible he tried the quieter stuff first and I wasn't waking up, so he got annoyed and gave me the baby bellow. I'm not sure. All I know is that I stumbled over, picked him up and managed to feed him before I ever even really woke up. I am Zombie Mom!

To all my homies in Bruges

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I was watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 last night, and I just couldn't stop staring at Kate's hair. I really don't understand that haircut. You know how it's smooth in the front and the back is all spiked up like she fell asleep in the car? But it's like that on purpose. I don't understand. It reminds me of a mullet--it's two haircuts in one and they don't go together. And, don't get me wrong, I think she's very pretty and she looks good in short hair, but I've seen that haircut around town here before, and I'm never going to comprehend it. So instead of just enjoying the show, I spent the entire half hour staring at her head. I'm so bad about this sort of thing. I constantly get distracted by minutae like that. I also look at people's eyebrows when I'm talking to them, and if someone has startlingly over- or under-plucked brows, I get completely preoccupied with it. God forbid I run into a man who waxes his eyebrows because I won't catch one word of what he's saying. All I hear in my head is "He waxes his eyebrows! He waxes his eyebrows!"

Slug Bug (owwww!)

Ok, does it qualify as "rolling over" if you put a baby on his belly, he kicks himself up so he's lying on his side and then he sort of flops over onto his back? If so, Lil J rolled over last night. Who's a good boy?!?

You know, it took me a while to figure out what was going on with Sun and Jin last night, so by the time Sun was done talking at the gravesite, I was finally like "Ohhhhh, he flashed back and she flashed forward." Confusing! But that outcome was so sad. I really like both those characters, so I just hope that we get to see more of them before the inevitable death. And that means we're up to 5 of the Oceanic 6, I think. And who called it when it came to the spy on the boat?! I did! I called it! Boffo. Wasn't it weird seeing Michael after all this time? It was like running into a high school classmate at Target and feeling happy to see them but also slightly guilty for not really caring up until that point. You know what I'm talking about.

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

I'm feeling much better today. Lil J slept a lot better last night, and I apparently fell asleep while I was feeding him in the evening, which probably also helped combat the ol' sleep deficit. That's so disturbing though--falling asleep while you're holding a baby and not even realizing it until you look at the tv, an entirely different show is on, your glasses are sideways on your face and you suspect that's drool you feel on your cheek. And the baby's just looking at you with this cocky expression that says "Sucker! I got to eat an extra 20 minutes because you can't control your internal clock! Boo-yah!" I've developed a case of infant-induced narcolepsy. Oooh, have I ever mentioned that I knew a narcoleptic kid in South Carolina? He slept through everything. To this day, I suspect he was actually just really lazy.

Dong, where is my automobile?

I'm definitely going to have to up the caffeine intake today. I think hanging out with his daddy all day yesterday tuckered Lil J out, because he slept pretty much all evening. Unfortunately, that meant when he woke up at 3 this morning, he didn't really want to go back to sleep, so I'm just a smidge sleep-deprived today. I'm hoping that his schedule evens out a bit once he gets used to our new routine. Otherwise, I'm going to have to start going to bed at 5 p.m. and waking up at 3 a.m. every morning, and that's going to seriously cut into my tv watching. Not to mention I'll be hungry for lunch at 8 a.m..

Honestly, though, I'm having a hard time getting rid of the fear that the baby and I aren't going to be as close as mothers and children who are together all the time. I know that's not really true because I've seen other working moms with their kids and they're wonderful together, but it's hard to shake that feeling right now. Of course, on the other hand, maybe it's good that he's spending time with people other than just me. I don't want to make him a mama's boy and be picking out his clothes when he's 25. That would not be good.

The nnnnnguuu slobber bomb

Well, maternity leave is up, so I'm back at work today. It's quite surreal, actually. Everything seems familiar but slightly off. It wasn't too bad leaving Lil J this morning because his daddy is watching him today and his grandma will be watching him the rest of the week. But every time I look at his picture on my desk, I get a little stabby pain in my chest. My plan is to try to imagine moving into a better neighborhood every time that happens though. A little positive reinforcement never hurt anyone. Plus, I'll be sure to give Lil J plenty of hugs, kisses and belly nibbles when I get home. I just hope he remembers who I am.

Wrap a hot towel around my head?

Wow, we had quite the blizzard this weekend. The local weathermen say we got 20.4 inches on Friday and Saturday, but I don't think we got quite that much at our house. But it was definitely enough to keep us indoors all day Saturday, and the whole city was pretty much shut down. Even McDonald's was closed. Nooooooooooooo! But here are a couple pictures we took so you can get an idea of what it was like:

And all this in March. Makes me wonder what Easter's going to be like. The Easter Bunny may have to draft the Easter Polar Bear to help him get the baskets delivered. And that is truly against the natural order.

A foot of snow by evening? Fantastic

Last night's Lost was kind of blah. I was hoping to find out more about the Oceanic Six, not more proof that Ben's a jackhole. Knew that already, thanks. Anybody else think that Ben's spy on the freighter is Michael? He's in the credits, so he's gotta show himself sometime.

I made the mistake yesterday of watching an ER rerun that took place in the neonatal intensive care unit. By the end of it, I was bawling like a crazy person. Lil J was even looking at me like "Umm, Mom, it's FIC. TION. Settle down." But ever since I had him, I've developed this acute sensitivity to the plight of babies or kids in danger. I also saw a news clip today of a mother using a high-pressure car wash hose on her toddler and had the overwhelming urge to throttle that woman myself. Is this normal for a new parent, or am I suddenly a psychopath?

Yeah, the basement

I just saw that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer! That stinks. I think I saw Dirty Dancing about 38 times when I was a preteen, and I've always been very fond of his performances in Point Break and as the Chippendale dancer opposite Chris Farley on SNL. Heck, I even choked up a little at the end of Red Dawn. So I hope he recovers. Pancreatic cancer's nothing to sneeze at though. I remember my human anatomy teacher telling us about it, and his main point was "If your doctor tells you that you have pancreatic cancer, go sit on the beach and sip pina coladas because you'll be dead in a month." He was not an up-with-people kind of guy.

Molly, you in danger, girl

I've gotten so tired of Dr. Phil and the dumb contestants on The Price Is Right that I've started to watch reruns of ER in the morning. The one yesterday featured an armless Dr. Romano being crushed by a helicopter. The same helicopter that chopped off his arm, perhaps? Sometimes that show is itching to be a comedy, I just know it. But, man, that is some grim tv. I think, in general, it's better not to subject yourself to too much sad stuff like that unless you're a goth teenager who's got an image to maintain. But I suspect that even those kids secretly watch Say Yes to the Dress when nobody's looking. Basically, I can't wait until 30 Rock and The Office come back with new episodes.

Rental car smells like sunshine

Is it the afternoon already? I've been waking up around 2 the past couple nights so my mornings have become a blur of coffee cups and naps. Lil J goes to sleep just fine, but lately he's been waking up to eat at the aforementioned 2 a.m. and not wanting to settle back down and fall asleep afterwards. He is so my kid. And it's no big deal now, but when I go back to work, this is going to be rough. Although, really, I've had years of practice developing coping mechanisms for sleep deprivation at work. Tip #1: it's called Diet Coke. The lining of your stomach will disappear, but at least you won't get fired for sleeping at your desk. Tip #2: avoid customer service jobs unless the job calls for throwing hatchets at people. And, finally, tip #3: invest in some good headphones because there's nothing worse than being tired and irritable then having to listen to a bunch of teenagers spewing their views on politics and world peace. Oooh, did I just say that? I'm so cranky!

Shooting some b-ball outside of the school

We went out to breakfast on Saturday to the local Amish restaurant (they make the best donuts! I appreciate the Amish philosophy of not skimping on the cream filling), and my mother-in-law snapped this picture:
I definitely see the resemblance, but I still find it fascinating how his eyes are blue. I know they'll turn brown or green in a few more months, but I dig how blue they are now. With the current eye color and the reddish hair, he looks Irish to me. I feel like putting him in a fisherman's sweater, slapping a pipe in his mouth and changing his name to Sean O'Grady.

Oh, and here's a tip from me to you: if you're ever perusing cable and are tempted to watch the movie Doom, don't. It's not worth it.